Being a mom is not easy and at the same time your working, taking care of your family and trying your best to put a hot meal on the table every dinner time.Cooking while carrying baby D, phone cant stop ringing and hearing my mom telling me how her grandchild is always begging for attention until she cant get any work done.
Being a mom has perks and being a mom, few luxury in your life has been taken away. Not all but some. Wait let me rephrased that.. all luxury. =)
When Im at work, i feel like im a career woman. Have a life, success and career which I could be proud off. Putting make up on, dress to impressed for the day and put on my high heel and feeling confident . I feel important. I feel im being apart of something big and it felt good.
Once im approaching my house porch, took off my shoes, make up, my Zara suit, my hijab, my accessories and as soon as I headed to the toilet to freshen up,letting the hot water run through my hair, all i hear is a loud bang on the door and " mama... ngaaa nyaaa... baba... uwaaaaa ". Yes.. the sweet sound from my son who always beg for attention. I finished up my shower and took him and putting him in his cot while i dry my hair, and wear my pajamas.
By then im in the kitchen cooking for dinner and 10 minutes out, im sweating all over again. My hair is a mess, smelled, my pajamas is all covered with sweat, milk and baby food nor baby puked.Feeding baby D is a struggle for me. He seems like loving to have food fight with me. But when it comes to his father, his one behave baby. Favoring his father in all things. Thats daddys' boy alright. pffttt! * -_______- *
Then at 7pm Dani reached home. After putting his stuff away he run down to the kitchen. Once he saw me, he said " dari tadi you tak mandi ke baby?".
At that point i felt like screaming at him but then I composed my self and give him a look.
At night after all the chaous down stairs, I spend afew hours playing with Baby D with Dani and by 9pm i put him to sleep. As soon as he sleep off , thats the time I have all to myself.Looking my self in the mirror, noticing all the pimples popping out and wrinkles around my eye area.
" you selekeh, rambut you berbau and baju you buruk sekali pun, remember that your son and your husband loves you no matter what . You penat kerja seharian tolong I support our family, lepas tu balik you tolong masak and kemas rumah and jaga anak you. Kenapa I nak complaint if you gain weight, you smelled or you look like a mess. I tak pernah kesah pun. If ada orang complaint pasal you, bagitau i. " Dani looked at me and smiled.
" Well im sorry if you find me not attractive like i used to before we got married and have a child." I looked at him while he was paying attention to his Ipad playing games.
As i was about to walked to the toilet he said
" tak guna muke lawa, putih melepak tapi mulut suka buka aib orang even kawan sendiri, lepas tu gaduh sikit dengan suami pegi canang dekat kawan-kawan, mengutuk orang lain gemuk la, dayus la ape la macam dia tu ade hak nak kutuk orang macam dia baik sangat. I lagi rela ade bini yang buruk, busuk and x lawak dari ada bini lawa tapi jatuhkan air muka suami. "
I stop and look at him. He looked and gave me the look. " You maybe gemok, x putih, tak hot macam some people tapi at least you tak pernah menyakitkan hati suami and you tak pernah jatuhkan air muka suami you. Itu lagi penting."
I laughed until I woke Baby D from his sleep. Dani took him and gave me a smile. " Pegi la mandi, basuh rambut. Rambut u bau ikan masin goreng. Nanti i takut I mimpi ikan masin sambil kunyah rambut you in my sleep." He laughed.
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