The In Laws' War

Actually issue ni aku tak la expert mane since im not even married myself. Tapi banyak member-member rapat aku yang slalu berkongsi cerite pasal life die orang after kahwin.Ramai yang kate best sangat life lepas kahwin..bangun pagi nampak muke husband, keluar bilik air nampak muke die,time makan nampak muke die..almost everytime nampak muke die..hahah!!( member aku yg buat statement ni actually br jugak kawen,so stil dalam mode honeymoon)

Then aku tnye lak member aku yg dah dekat 2 taun kawin...Jawapan die ialah "mak mertue aku tu favoritism.. die lebihkan bini adek laki aku..tp ngan aku nak xnak je layan.....I was stunned because all this time before member aku kawen, die happy dengan mother in law die. slalu kuar shopping,sometimes on the phone daily..Memang relationship die ngan MIL die like real mother n daughter.

But then bile da kawin, lelame MIL die da berubah..Aku pun heran la kenape jadi cmtu. Tapi aku x pakse die tuk cerite sebab cam mengaibkan die, husband n family die org. So i decided to listen takat mane die cite.Tapi dari gaya die, mmg aku dapat agak yang member aku ni sangat la depress. Out of nowehere aku terlepas tnye "is it sebab ko belum bg die cucu?..She broke down to tears... Exactly!!

Isu Ibu mertue dengan menantu ni actually bukan takat ngan perempuan, lelaki pun ade. Tak ngam ngan ayah or ibu mertue die org. tapi agak jarang la tuk pihak lelaki..Aku ade bace afew article regarding a rapid increas of divorce rate in Malaysia. One of the reason is because of the parents in law.. Hrm....


My all time favorite movie...



Aku teringat dis one story aku read somewhere afew months ago.Semua bermula pada hasutan Ibu si suami.The wife actually gaji lagi besar dari the husband. One day the mother in law ternampak statement EPF the girl yg mencecah dekat afew hundred thousand. So the mother in law cam rase jealous and hasut anak lelaki die tuh santaukan bini die hoping that if menantu die mati, the husband will get the money and they will split the money into half. But they didnt know that menantu die tu letakkan name mak the girl as name pendua(tah aku xtau pe jadah die org panggil)..Afew weeks later,she was suffering like hell.. End up loosing her jobs,loose weight like crazy and end up dead.The mother in law was so eager to claimed the money but then bile they found out mak the girl yang dapat, the mother in law tuduh mak pompuan tu hasut anak die sendiri.kemudian, bermule la isu saman menyaman....That actually a true story...

So berbalik pada main topik,

Bile aku dengar member2 dok cite pasal hal mak mertue ni,aku jadi cuak.. When i want to be married to a guy, means i have to be married to his family as well.So chemistry among the family is important to me..Even though is not that easy but i have to deal with it.

Hal2 camni terjadi bile timbulnye issue tak ade zuriat, hasat dengki and duit! Mak aku sendiri kene bende same. Dulu mase my mom nak kawin with my dad, nenek aku(abah aku nye mak) mmg x suke mak aku sebab mak aku tu org negeri sembilan(kononye org n9 ni perampas harte). Mmg teruk experience my mom ngan nenek i. Before kawin, my mom share duit with my dad to buy new house, furniture and all the stuff.. A few months after they got married,nenek aku came by to the house and took everything. Furnitures, curtains..The only thing left is barang2 yg heavy n yg besar sebab tak muat masuk kereta. My dad wasnt around that time coz outstation.The reason she took everything is because nenek aku ingat tu sume duit abah aku..After she took everything, she just left. My mom didnt say shit!

Then when i was diagnosed with Subdural Hematoma, she came by to the hospital and told my dad "apelah nasib dapat anak camni?".. sunguh hina aku time tu.. naseb kecik lagi, kalo x mmg aku sound tepek kat muke die.

My grandmother has this attitude of FAVORITISM...simple word "melebihkan attention pada menantu/anak and cucu lain bergantung pada how much they earn monthly"

Dulu die paling suke adek ipar abah aku yg keje ngan bank. Alasan nenek aku simple jew "die tu keje bank.. banyak duit"..ape die xtau ke duit tu sume bukan duit die pong... Aku xde masalah ngan pak lang aku tu.. He was a nice man. Mase aku saket, mak kate die slalu hulur mak 100.. time tu was 1986.. 100 bucks is like 10000 kot!!

Bile aku da besa, sikap favoritism nenek aku melekat smpai ke cucu die skali.Now die lebihkan cucu anak bongsu die sebab cucu die tu skang belajar kt Jepun.. Tiap kali time raya, die mesti datang kat aku nak tanye

"ko da keje kan? duit raye nenek mane?

Yes! im not kidding. Usually bile die datang uma, the first thing die akan tanye is,gaji aku da berape ribu sekarang? n why aku x pena kasi duit bulan2 kt die.I DONT DO WELFARE'S TO SOMEONE WHO ACTUALLY HAS THE MONEY!

Aku paling kesian dekat abah. Every month kasi duit kt atok n nenek dekat 1000 each.Bile nenek found out gaji org goverment naik, she will personally call abah and tanye "elauns bulanan aku x naik ke ? kan gaji kerajaan da naik?" adoi...She never calls her son atau any of us unless tnye pasal duit.

Takat tu aje aku sanggup cite.Thats why aku jarang pegi rumah die if ade kenduri2 sebab aku nak ngelak dari buat dose. Aku tau die nenek aku and die abah aku nye mak but perangai die mmg susah nk tolerate. Theres one day me, mak n abah were talking about their Umrah trip and nenek ikot die org. After hearing everything i told abah

"i felt really sorry for you for having such a 'LOVELY' mother"

then he said "I dont feel sorry at all for myself sebab i have an understanding wife n wonderfull family of my own.i just felt sorry for her actually sebab da pegi Umrah and Haji banyak kali but stil x berubah perangai"..

This statement mmg xde tokok tambah. That statement mmg keluar dar mulut abah aku.ANAK NENEK AKU SENDIRI!..

Cerite perihal kisah my mom n my grandmother actually sebagai contoh terdekat bagi aku yang aku nampak dengan mata kepala aku sendiri for the past 26 years.

Thats why aku lagi prefer cousin and aunties or uncle sebelah my mom. to my suprise, my dad paling rapat dengan adek2 ipar die yg pompuan... adik beradik die sendiri, die kurang...ni bukan aku 'favoritism' over belah mak aku. Its just its alot easy on my mom side of the family because die org sendiri tau cmne perangai adik-adik abah aku n nenenk aku. Adik beradik abah ade yg ok. contoh mak su aku and mak lang aku. They never gave me problems. Aku paling sayang dekat maksu aku sebab shes very polite and funny. Shes not judgemental cam other.

Cousin aku belah abah aku ade sorang due yg mmg aku cukup anti n menyampah (lain kali aku cite)

So, conclusionnye, aku rase susah actually menganggap n treat the in laws like our own family if the in laws tak treat the same way.... Memang orang kate anak sendiri n menantu x same. Yes! its true.. tapi You x sayang bini or husband anak u ke? so ask your self that question.

Kalo x berkenan perangai menantu, nape x sebelom kawin voice out ur thought? bile da kawin, sape yg susah? Ko saket ati tgk die, and menantu ko naik tention...

Support dar wife or husband penting jugak. Sebab die org kenal the in law better than us. Tapi kalo dapat husband or wife yg dengar bulat2 cakap parents smpai x nampak mane betol n salah, mmg payah la...Hal ni slalu jadi kat lelaki or as i like to call them "MUMMY'S BOY"...

Aku slalu berdoa jangan la aku dapat in law cam nenek aku. Boleh tention!! Baik xyah kawin kalo ade mertue cmtu. aku rela!!!