Samsung S5

I've always been a huge fan of the Samsung brand since ages ago. My first ever Samsung smart phone was S4.But Samsung has a major downside for me, and its their performance. Sometimes the phone becomes extremely slow even I didnt download too many apps nor running multiple apps at the same time.Then when I got married my father bought me a S5 as a wedding present ( I was expecting something like Espresso Machine or even a juicer ). But by the 7 month the phone start giving me problems. As many of you have read on my previous post where I got into a huge fight with my bestfriend because of the blue tick on the Whassap apps even the fact I cant even open my Whassap app at that time. I did send to the shop and asked the guy at Samsung to check them out they just cant find the source of the problem.So because of my previous Samsung S5, I lost my 8 years of friendship with my bestfriend. Well at least I get to know the real person that she/he is.

So, after seeking third opinion, my phone is back on track.Whassap is doing fine and my phone is finally running fast as usual. My previous Samsung S5 is the longest smartphone I ever owned.It has been almost 3 years now. Usually my phone life spand only lasted for 1 and a half years max. Teheee! =)

So yesterday Ive decided its about time for me to move on.My father advice not to buy another Samsung phone because he said that I will face the same problem as the previous one and he asked me to take Iphone6 plus instead. The thing is, I dont like Iphone. Dont asked me why because I just cant find the answer.Im not an Apple fan.

After long discussion and multiple time calculating my budget, I've decided to let go my S5 baby to a Samsung S7 Edge.Again the design makes me fell in love with it. The phone looks very sophisticated. The minute I saw it, I fell in love with it.

Lets see how long S7 Edge can last. Hope alot longer than my S5.

Perginya Seorang Sahabat.

Aku kenal kau masa kite belajar dekat Shah Alam. Kau budak IT dan aku budak MLT. Bidang lain-lain tapi kita boleh kenal dan rapat. Allah s.w.t temukan aku dengan orang yang cukup istimewa. Lama - lama kita jadi inseparable. Aku habis aje kelas mesti aku datang dorm cari kau dan Dede. 

Aku bila mengamuk aku suka campak-campak barang, kao yang datang kutip balik dan pujuk aku. Ye aku memang jenis kuat merajuk, kuat melenting, tapi dalam banyak-banyak orang time tu, kau orang aje yang ley relax kan aku. Ayat favorite kau " aku sayang semua kawan-kawan aku. Aku sayang ko Zara."

Bila kita da habis belajar, kita buat haluan masing-masing. Kau pulak balik duduk Ipoh, aku still dekat KL. Lama kita lost contact tapi Allah s.w.t tetap temukan kita balik.Kau cakap dekat aku kau nk datang Majlis aku di KL tapi kau keje and jauh. Kau janji nak datang majlis belah Husband. Suka aku babe, dapat jumpa kau balik. 

Even kita jauh, kita tak selalu berborak, tapi banyak kenangan kita. Aku suka kutuk -kutuk ko tapi ko senyum aje. Tak pernah aku nampak kau marah-marah. Kalau mara pun tak lama lepas tu kau bantai gelak. Aku rindu babe!

Sedih aku. Aku ralat sebab tak datang ziarah kau bila kau bersalin haritu. Kau cakap tak ape nanti ade rezeki datang la. Nope! tak ade rezeki aku babe nak peluk cium kau macam dulu-dulu. 

Ko dengan Dede yang selalu layan kepala gila-gila aku. Tak ade orang lain sanggup babe. Kita tengok movie kt laptop dr pagi smpai ke pagi esoknye, dengan tak mandi bagai,pastu kita berjalan pegi mamak.Rindunyeee

Allahuakbar! Tak sangka kau dah tak ada babe. Dede call aku pagi tadi menangis bagitahu kau dah tak ada, aku rasa macam nak sepak je Dede ingatkan dia memain. Aku tengok FB kau penuh dengan ucapan takziah dari semua orang. I gues its true. Allah swt sayangkan kau babe. Ramai kawan -kawan ko babe. Semua cakap kau sahabat yang happy go lucky, selalu senyum, selalu happy. Yes! Thats how I knew you.

Rest well Yana, insyallah aku, Dede, Nana and the rest of our geng akan datang melawat kau dan anak-anak kau.Insyallah ur in good hands now. 

" Zara meh la amek gamba sesame! Nanti kau da blah aku x ingat muke kau lagi macam mane?" 

" Tak nak la aku amek gamba. muke aku x lawa cam kau yana! "

Maafkan aku sebab aku selalu marah-marah kau.Even kekadang aku suke tengking tengking kau, tapi ko slalu ckp xpe tengking la as long as ko rasa lega. Aku tetap sayang ko!.

p/s : Im gonna miss u babe.. :'(

My Boring Saturday Morning.

Good morning all. Its a fine Saturday morning indeed where im just lying on my bed, waking up late and just too lazy to do anything.Dare to dream! *pffftt* How i wish it all true. But nope. Not at all. At this very moment where I wish i would just lay in bed, I have to wake up early for work.


I havent got any sleep last night actually so im drinking my third cups of coffee this morning while waiting for the meeting to start. Dani was working late and before he head of to work he woke me up at 11.30pm and I wasnt able to continue my sleep until 4am. My eye bags are getting visible now.My hairs are falling off and my pimples are getting crazier now.

How i wish I was a housewife.You dont have to crack your head to complete your work on time, answering to other people and and get yell at whenever you screw up your work. 

Public Transport.

Before this I used to work in KL. Smack in the middle of the Golden Triangle, so for me to most convenient way to go to work is to used public transport. So I drove my car to the nearest LRT station in Sri Petaling at 6.40am and took the LRT until Masjid Jamek and switched to Putra LRT to KLCC. Its tiring but I was pretty happy about it because at least I can squeezed in abit of cardio while I'm at it.

Trust me walking with 4 inch heels those days was pretty easy. I was smaller back then so it didn't put too much pressure to my feet but now it's a whole different story. I told Dani I'm taking the train to work today and I'm going to wear heels. Dani was like ' bitch are you crazy' face.

So this morning, I was super excited because this is the first time ever since I reside here, I took the train to work. Before this Puchong only has public bus.

Took the train at 8.15am with Dani and walked to my office across the main road.It was hot, im started to sweat and my feet started to hurt. The fact is, im wearing flats!

* Train still bau kedai *

My normal route to work started to piled up.Driving through traffic jem is very tiring despite the fact I just love driving.But its tiring.

LDP - always packed full of cars. All the time.Well im going to take the train from now on. Much mo easier and again, get to squeezed abit of cardio before off to work. Im going to be slim in slender withint a month. hahaha. =)

Is It All Worth It?

Before I started working in Mitsubishi, I was working as a Company Secretary and Personal Assistant for a construction company. My boss was a nice Indian guy. He was about my dads' age and he hasn't been such a pain in the butt so to speak.I learn alot from him and also from my other colleague. My interest in Engineering / Mechanical field develop thanks to my previous boss and also from my Father. While I was doing all administrative work for my company and personal assistant work for my boss, I managed to slip through some of draughts work such as a simple editing and revised on the drawing. Then my father managed to teach me on some technical editing for air -conditioning systems.

When I was working at my previous company, I was a busy person. I was working 247 literally. I wasnt allowed to switch off my phone during the night, I hardly get to take annual leave and I constantly followed my boss whenever he has a meeting. Come to a point where I sometimes had a fight with my ex boyfriend because he thought me and my boss were having an affair. My parents was the one whom bit reluctant when I told them I have to work late almost every night and I have to follow him for a meeting. But they somehow understand that their daughter is no longer tight on a leash.

I was happy with my work and my life despite the fact I have lack of sleep and my eye bags and getting worst and worst. To be honest I was so surprised that even I don't have enough time to sleep, my eating schedule has gone haywire, I didnt get sick at all. Not even a simple fever or flu. At all!

Then when my boss told me that his retiring and returning to India for good, I was pretty upset because I love my job so much. I love the feeling of being needed by someone and I feel Im a huge part of the whole company.I enjoy the hectic  scenario, running around chasing dateline.

So when I start working with Mitsubishi as Technical Assistant, I feel so lost. Because my daily routine at the office is just sit at my desk and do my work. There's no running around, there's no constant calls from my boss asking whats his agenda for the day. Honestly speaking I was soo lost and depressed.I told my mom about this and she completely understand my situation because she works with Telekom for her entire life and after she return to Malaysia from Cape Town for work and she decided to retire, she felt completely lost also. Staying at home, doing nothing, on ones at home during the day. She said sometimes she felt like she's about to go mental.

Then as years pass, I starting to love my job here in Mitsubishi. The bosses here are amazing. The treating their staff as family and I really felt like 'home'.As many of you know I studied Business Management and Human Resources and let me tell you, I know nothing about my work.Even I have bit background on Mechanical Engineering and Draughts.

Looking back on the days were I worked with my previous boss, I came to realized that, how workaholic I really am.Well when your working with an international company you get paid alot if you perform but then you lack of quality times with your family and loves one. I think if I still work with my previous boss and my work life is as hectic as it is, I would felt so guilty to Dani and also to Daniel.

Now, there's one guy in particular in my current company which reminds me so much as myself during the days. He was my General Manager. I have a whole load of respect for this guy. Never once I was him taking leave nor sick leave. His constantly working.I once saw him about to snap afew weeks ago and I was so scared for him.He was the one whos dealing directly with all client and consultant. The other day we were having lunch together and he told me and my other colleague how tired he was. His mentally tired. He was telling all sort of things and he feel like he wanted to drop everything and just leave. Before we left the table he said " Haiya i cerite sama u guys , kau orang tak akan faham betapa penat nya aku buat kene untuk boss! ".

I smiled and said to myself " Dude you have no fucking idea. "

At home I told my father and Dani what happen and I asked them question

" is it all worth it untuk pening2 kepala, sampai tak boleh amek cuti untuk rehat tapi gaji 10 - 20k per month? "

Dani and my dad was like " YEP!"

" certain jobs cost alot of money and they dont come easy. Its how you channel your stress and your tiredness whenever your at work, getting yelled from your boss. When your at work, your boss owned you. So give you full commitment.He pays you alot of money for a reason. So deal with it! "

My Ikea Story.

Ikea is very famous among all Malaysia. Not for their furniture's, but for their meatballs.I wasn't a big fan for their furniture's but somehow Dani and my mom love's going to Ikea.

Usually when I react Ikea food court, the first thing I notice is - the tables. The tables are always messy. I dont blame the cleaner, I really dont. Who I blame - the customer. US!

As my mom sit on the chair and as I was cleaning the table to make room for us to eat then comes one young couple asked me if I could clean the table next to us so that they could eat as well. I looked at my mom and my mom told the couple that they're were capable enough to clean it themselves and that her daughter is not the cleaner. 

Then the couple were reluctant but they did it. So we continue our lunch and talked about our purchased. They this couple stood up as they finished eating. My mom again being her called out the couple and said, can you clear the table so that someone else can sit and have their meal. Well, the guy was angry and started shouting " aku bukan bangla! " and they walked away.

My mom was in shocked and I was about to go to him and give him a slap in the face for shouting at an old lady let alone my own mother.But then I looked at my mom, " lets just hope he doesnt talked to his mother like that!". I was pretty pissed off. I was saying ' fucking son of a bitch luckily my mom was there, if not ur dead! '. 

Ive seen so many similar situation at other places as well. I dont want to condemn my own people but sometimes, Im ashamed of my own people. As many of you know I travel alot growing up. Most part of the globe me and my family have travel and all I can say is that they treat their country as their own home. They clean after they eat even at a restaurant, or fast food restaurant, they dont throw garbage's on the free way or spit on the side walk. 

It doesnt requires alot of effort to pick up your trash, put it on a tray and put the tray away.It that simple!

I Hate It.

I have on a severe fever, coughing and flu since last week. My guess is that my body was too tired and stress out. I had nose bleed yesterday and my face started to break out.But the flu and coughing is killing me.

Because Daniel will be having his routine injection, my mom literally taking him away from me because he cant get sick before his injection. So I was separated from my baby. I cant hold him, kiss him, hug him, touch him. NOTHING!

I was pretty upset because he always sleep with me every night and all the sudden he was kidnap.I was disappointed because of that and to top it all I was sick at the same time.So since Friday until yesterday I haven't hold him or nothing. I did try sneak a quick hug n kiss but then I heard " oiiiiiiiiiii !!! jangan dekat ngan budak tu! Degil! ". *whipe of my tears*

So last night all the sudden he started to have runny nose and slight coughing.He started to get really cranky and wanted to be hold all the time. My mom started to get irritated and tired so I forced myself to carry Daniel for a while, and guess what? - He doesnt want me! He wants his grandmother!

I tried it once, twice and three time - he still doesn't want me. He wants my mother. I was abit upset so I went upstairs and started to cry.Here I am, sick like a dog, missing the moment of holding Daniel and now he doesn't want his mother!

Things like this makes me want to quit my job!

Okay fine!

My Back Up Plan.

I always dream about having my own business, my own company and stop working for others instead of working for myself.Dont get me wrong I do love my job.It can be very stressful at times but I love working here, the environment and the bosses here are like my own family.But this is what I call my back up plan. When I retire, I dont depend so much on my retirement funds only.

So after discussing with my cousin and my parents, they gave me a solid green light.All I have to do now is save up tons of money to kick start.At this point I'm still learning on how to handle the liquidity and all the paper work so hopefully when I reach 40 years old which is 10 years from now, I will quit my job and run my own business with Dani.

I Gemok La !

I have been struggling with my weight since I was in college. I was a pretty active person during high school. I involved alot with valley ball , skate boarding and rollerblading. I was health junkie back then. I was eating proper food, spend time sweating out all the toxin out.

When I finished my SPM and heading towards college life, I left my lifestyle behind because I was so busy with classes, lab , assignment and presentation. Plus I cant find a healthy meal in my college. Its always been fastfood and tons of sugary snacks because I'm always in a run.So later it become a new lifestyle for me. By the time I graduated, I was huge. Standing at 5'7" and I was 70kg. Most people said I dont like big because I was tall and I have a big frame.

Then when Ive started working, things become alot more worst. I was at my heaviest on 2010 when i was 99kg!. So I took a step back and I sign up for gym membership and I was so focus, eating right and woke up early every morning to go to the gym before I headed to the office.

\

 *July 2011*

After all hard work and eating right

* December 2011 *

Everything when great until I found out I was pregnant with my first baby.I was so determined to stick to my routine but then my Gynecologist advice me to slow down on the extreme diet and exercise because I had a tough pregnancy during the first trimester. So being a hardcore foodie I started to eat.  My pregnancy cravings are the reason why I gain alot of weight and the reason why I had Preclampsia. I was so addicted to Coke and French Fries.I can drink Coke up to 7 cans a week which is not normal for me because Im not a fan of Coke before then. During my pregnancy I dont like rice at all. Im into bread, bagel, spagetti, pasta, cakes. Then when I was 32 weeks pregnant, I was 100kg. 

* January 2015 *

By this time I was having serious knee problems and back problems. I was huge!. Then Dani gotten so worried on how I was eating everything. But luciky enough Baby D wasnt that big. When he was born, his only 2.3kg. Small, tiny baby.

Now Im currently struggling to loose all my baby fat and at the same time Im battling my bad habits.

I missed the days when I can wear my 5 inch heels, my kebaya and my jeans. So Ive decided to take action and start doing some serious high protein diet. I involved myself with this Atkiners group in Facebook and Ive learn alot from it. Its hard I have to say because Im a huge carbohydrate junkie. I need my bread and my pasta but thinking about how painful for me to walk and how my back is killing me everytime I took the stairs and side effects from the Epidural i took during my labour, I'm willing to sacrifice my everything.

Despite my colesterol, my sugar level are normal but I think its about time to make few changes. Doctor Raja did advice me that I need to loose afew kilos in order for me to have a smooth process during my next pregnancy. After all, Baby D is big enough to have a siblings by now. It torn me apart looking at him playing with his toys by himself. 

Mummy's big boy playing alone. Nanti mummy kasi adik okay =)

B.F.F - Big , Fat and Funny.

I never see myself as a funny person but one thing I know about myself is I enjoy making a fool of myself.I was never a serious person. My parents are funny but to them, I'm funnier than them.At random, I would love making voices, randomly say my favorite movie quote and I always act like a fool around my parents until they just had enough with me. But in all of that, I do have to apologized to my sister because she's always the person that I always be goofy off up with. Thats what sister do to their baby sister I guess. Irritate them as much as I can.

The thing that makes me fall in love with Dani is because his sense of humor and his love make a fool of himself. We're at the mall and when we hear any of our favorite song, we will stop dead in our traffic and start singing. Loudly! We're shameless I know. *teeeeeheeeeee*

The other day I was talking to one of my oldest best friend, Asra and as always I always cracked afew jokes which to me I dont find them funny at all but to her it was hilarious. As we're talking about our Husbands and their shenanigans, Asra said that me and Dani reminds her alot of Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone. I was like

" you're saying im fat la now? "

" You are fat bitch. But damn you're funny as hell just like Melissa.". She replied

Ive always find Melissa McCarthy a very funny and talented woman. Despite shes on the bigger side, people recognized her by her talent and she's damn funny. So as a big fan of Melissa McCarthy, I feel insulted when Asra said I remind her of Melissa.

Later that night I told Dani what happen and his respond was the same thing as mine." so you are fat!".  Pffft * -__________- *

* Melissa McCarthy and her adorable Husband, Ben Falcone*

Well this picture somehow described me and Dani. =)

No Ipad Please.

Last night I was so tired after cleaning the house and doing major tones of laundry and i somehow forgot to cook for Dani. I walked into out room with sweat all over my face, my hair is drenched with sweat and water as I was washing the toilet looked at him with a word coming out from my mouth as I was too tired to talked.

Dani took my hand and said , " go clean up, take a hot bath and I take you out for dinner. You tak payah masak."

I told him I can cook but its going to be abit late because I need to take a quick nap before but he was pretty insisted not to let me cook. So I head to the toilet for a shower, get ready for dinner.

He took me to my favorite place ' Food Tree Factory '.  After placing an order and as I was about to pull out my handphone we stopped me. " No phone please.Lets just enjoy each others company for change". I was like ' buang tebiat ape mamat nih!'.

And we talked. I love talking to Dani about politics. Because to me, he like and 'observer'. His not on the government side nor on the opposition side. His on the fence literally. Dani reads and observe alot when it comes to politics. He has alot of interest in politics. We were pretty heated when it comes to discussing politics but then again, Dani is way smarter than me when it comes to this issues.

When the meal arrived, we enjoy our dinner and sharing each others meal with each other.I realized that the both of us are so attached with gadgets. What happen to the good old days where we were outside playing with other people rather than staying indoor with our gadgets, video games and smart phones.

Excuse My French.

Pardon my French.

Im a person that i speak my mind alot.If I dont like something nor someone, I would say it out loud without any hesitation. Because to me I dont see the point on talking behind peoples back. Waste of time and waste of energy.

I had a quarrel with my former best friend which I will not include her name here and im certainly not going to tell why she is now a complete stranger to me. We had out differences and I let her know and she let me know. Thats that!. After thing resolve, I dont go and talked to my other friends about what happen and certainly not in a position to talked ' Bullshit ' about her. But then again a friend of mine told me that she was saying some stuff about me behind my back and I was like ' I ain't lowering my standard for some basic, irrelevant person and let her talk '.

So here's me, in 2016 with a new resolution where I will not tolerate with anyone who through shades at me for no good reason. To me, if a person doesn't influence you to become a better person and if that person also surrounded with a negative vibe then they shouldn't be part of your life at all.

I do have a foul mouth. I curse and swear on my regular conversation.But i tend to control my foul language every now and then. But the thing I dont understand is that why the fuck you labeled me a ' whore , slut , betina sundal '  just by judging how I talk?
The thing that makes me loose my shit is when those people who commented about how i talked started to pull my family in it. Especially my son.

There's good and and in every people, but why the fuck you need to involved someone else into the picture and why on earth you pull an infant on your stupid rage against me?
You asked myself to stop acting childish but the truth is, you're the one who's acting like one.All the things she accused me off, apparently its exactly what she is.

So to the people I once knew,

 may your children will have the best of health and will always thrive to become a better person insyallah. And all my prayers to you and your family. =)

P/S : 2016 is my year. This is my shit! So to all the people who said " aku berani kerat jari la kalau aku dapat buat " , here's a dose of inspirational from me to you!

* Fuck off *

-______________-

2016

2015 rasanya tahun yang cukup bermakna buat satu keluarga aku.Macam - macam yang kami lalui tapi kami tetap teguh as 1 family. Bagi aku tahun lepas ada lah tahun yang banyak memberi pengajaran kepada aku. Tahun lepas telah mengajar aku erti pengorbanan, erti sahabat dan erti keluarga.

Aku sangat bersyukur kerana tuhan kurniakan aku dengan keluarga yang cukup memahami and kawan - kawan yang very supportive. Along the way, aku kenal dengan beberapa kenalan baru and ada juga aku kehilangan sahabat menghadap Ilahi. Tapi betul apa orang kata " hilang seorang kawan, insyallah Tuhan akan kurniakan  kawan yang lebih di masa akang datang".

Aku tak ada 'new year resolution' sebab bagi aku kita rancang segala benda tapi semua ikot ketentuan Allah s.w.t. Hanya aku mengharap tahun ini aku dapat pelajari lebih makna keluarga, sahabat dan pengorbanan.

Bila da masuk usia ' 3 series ' ,  aku rasa macam dah tua sangat. Tapi alhamdulillah semua benda yang aku nak kecapi sebelum usia 30 sudah complete.Rasa lega sangat. Jadi sekarang aku merancang impian untuk 10 tahun akan datang. Insyallah dipermudahkan.

Karma Is A Bitch!

This incident happen at food court KLCC. Here's what happen. I was looking at the menu at this one stall. As I was looking and I saw this dude in pink shirt who to me looks quit handsome.Then as Ive decided to place an order, I didnt see this guy whom are standing behind me. So I took 1 step back to talk to the person who taking my order. Then accidentally I step on his shoes.

Automatically I said "Oh God im so sorry sir. My bad".

All the sudden he gave me a look.A very snobbish look. Then as he walked pass behind me, I can hear clearly he said "bodoh punya betina." 
I was like 'what the eff did he just said?'. I was so pissed off I look at my Husband who are sitting afew feet behind me I asked him whether he sees what the guy did to me.

My Husband knew that is wife can get crazy so he asked me to came down. Then i saw the guy who is standing afew feet on my left infront of another stall looking at the menu. I looked at him and give him the look. He saw me and we stared at each other for a while. 

Then later on, Karma steps in!

As he trying to walked away from the situation, he steps on another guys shoes!. I saw him apologizing to the guy but then I heard " ARE YOU BLIND DUDE?. YOU STEP ON MY GUCCI SHOES!!".

Instandly I laughed so hard. I look at my Husband and he too laughed. It took me almost afew minutes to calm myself down just because I cant stop laughing.The minute I managed to composed myself, the snobbish guy walked past me and smiled. Hell No!.

Then as he walked by past me i said " Padan muke kau! "

Alone Time

When people are married, they think that they should spend  most of their time with their spouses. The truth is that, since we spend too much time together, we need to have some alone time for yourselves. I've always tell my Husband we need to spend time alone for change. Its good for our marriage and also for our relationship. 

The other day I was so stress about work and Husband started to notice that I abit distance with Baby D so my Husband asked me to take a day off from work and spend some alone time for myself.So a good wife that I am, I took a day off from work and I just hang out with myself, by myself doing nothing. I went to Pavillin. I spend some time at Starbucks, had breakfast and coffee there, doing some work (had too) and just chilling basically. Then afterwards I went to the Salon and got my hair done. Despite I do wear a hijab but I tend to take good care of my hair. Its like a spa for myself.Felt different and felt like Im a different person.

Then later I had lunch at Old Town and decided to chill for a while  since it was raining heavily. I didnt do much that day but I do feel like that was something I should be doing once a month. Spend sometime alone with myself.

So I went back home, I told my Husband that the day off was a relief. Then later date night me and my Husband went to IOI City Mall to spend time together.As usual my Husband knows how to cheer me up, we headed to Wondermilk to get my favorite Churros and sandwich cookies.

Him and his Ipad. Well, more Churros for me then.. Hahahah!

Hello baby!

Throwback...

I was going through my phone and sort things out as Im changing my phone and i realized that once you become a mom, theres tons of pictures of Baby D.I means alot. A picture of me and my Husband only like 4-5. 

Then i came across and old Whassap exchanged with my aunt before I delivered Baby D.The Whassap si between me and my aunt. She's the least favorite among her nieces and nephew. i personally not as closed as my other untie compared to her.

We dont talk much on daily basis compared to my youngest auntie. But I only come to her whenever I need advice. I mean serious advice. She's the most rational among the rest. Not even my mom.I received the message few hours before i went onto the operation theater.   

I still remember the smell of the alcohol, the screaming new born baby in the labour room, the voice of Doktor Raja saying she have to do a emergency C-section on me and the best part is - seeing those big brown eye and his black thick hair, and his long fingernails.

Meluat.

I have been in a situation where im the subject of gossip, back stabbed and also being in the middle of a very intense situation. Trust me non of those we dont want to be in but its life. I mean theres all sort of people around you and you cant pleased others most of your time.

Most people know that im a loud mouth and i say whatever it is i want to say.My favorite quote is always been 'Im not saying anything but im just saying'.
My loud mouth do make people talk and judge me. I really dont mind.They can say, judge whatever they want.

Ive been into numerous altercation with other people. But mostly its work related. Its different when it comes to work related and personal related. During my days when i work as an Assistant to my Project Manager was the time when i get into intense altercation. There's one situation where i was in a very intense discussion with one of my Engineer. Ive tried to explained to him but he just couldn't accept it because im " just a girl ". When you're working with man and working in their nature, we woman cant voiced out my opinion. Man and their ego. So right after he ditched my suggestion after he said im just a girl and i dont know stuff, i tell him off. 

" I dont like your attitude and im sure as hell don't like your work ethics! "

 Apparently, i was the only female whoever raised my voice and tell him off because non of the girls working with him have the gutts to tell him off.

Then later that week i found out that he was fired because he wasnt doing his job and he tried to pulled me down with him.

When it comes to personal altercation, i tend to be more civilized. I was in a messing argument with this one girl. She was being all pathetic and i wasnt interested to entertained myself when she started yapping and pin point all my mistakes. I just smiled and listen. But deep down i was like ' sheeesh woman! '.

Then few months ago, i was in a horrible fight with this one person. I have to admit that i did something wrong and i do apologized  to that person but then again this person starts to involved other people into the picture. Starts comparing my life, my work,my personal relationship, my family, my Husband and even my physical appearance. The fight is just about one small thing, but end up everything was put into the table. Its all like high school drama!

At the back of my mind im thinking ' i did apologized to begin with, and i dont think the issues is such a huge deal. but why need to include EVERYTHING!?'. Then i told myself might as well i pulled myself back and divert. If i start to bailed myself out and cover myself from these allegation, things would get alot more worst. So, as a mature and better person that i believed i am, i walked out!

Now, when i think about it i felt so disgusted and meluat! How 'matured' can claimed about themselves but then their actions are way opposite. Im glad I walked away from that situation and im glad that i got sorted out.

I hope that I can be patience. I can keep my cool, and hold on to my dignity for once in my life! :)

Life

 I have you ever had that particular moment where you see someone who is doing much better than you in sense of career, rich, famous, easy breezy in life and you would think 

" How wonderful is he/her life must been ".

I have to admit that i do have those days. I have 3 friends who are in airline business and 2 of them are Stewardess and and one is a Pilot. Watching their life through the picture they posted on Instagram, and Facebook make me sick to my stomach sometimes. Yes! I know it a shameful act to be jealous of other peoples success. Hey what can i say human has that kind of thought and feelings sometimes. Dont ever deny it. No matter how many times or how hard you try to deny nor avoid it but just cant.

So as i watched their life, travel here and there, enjoyed the finest things in life i left like 'bestnye hidup dia orang. Gaji best, dapat travel everywhere. Get to buy nice things'. 

How unfair life can be and how cruel it can be to others. Growing up I do have that luxury. Having both parents working so money is no issue there. Asked everything i want today, 2-3 days later it will be in my hands. Mom always pampers me with things, money. Thats her way on showing her love towards me as she felt guilty for always been away for work.It does fucked up my mind and my principles of life. At that time i thought " MONEY CAN BUY YOU EVERYTHING. EVEN YOUR OWN LIFE".

Watching some of my friends who were married to an Engineer, Pilot, Business man and such i do felt jealous of them. They Husband gave them all the buying power that they could ask for and they flaunt it! People say dont ever compared your life with someone else. I dont give too f***ed about it. It was pissed. Why cant i have all that.

Now having Daniel into the picture, makes me wonder to myself could i ever give all the things that he wants in the future later on?. Look at my Husband thinking will he able to provide to both of us knowing that he earn less than myself?. Berdosanya aku!

 'DONT COMPARE YOURSELF TO OTHERS'.

I need to be Happy. I want to be Happy. Why?

Rezeki .

Allah S.W.T created each individual different in so many way. It has been writen by HIM since we all in your mothers tummy.

Allah Is Great.

I remember when i started working after study. How life was so hard that time. Getting low pay while i need to spend almost half of my pay on fuel and tolls. Another half for my study fees as i was studying part time. Life was hard that time.But now, im doing much better. Getting better pay, better job and better environment. Rezeki!

Other woman married to a man who is a wife beater, drunk, drug addict and such. But me, im married to a man who loves me, takes good care of me and my son, never took me for granted even he knew i earn alot more than him, and he is not a wife beater.Rezeki!

I managed to keep my life straight as possible as i can, have home to go to after long days at work.Rezeki!

Despite the fact that i cant travel around the world just like i planned before, despite the fact that i cant buy all the things that ive wanted like i always do, and despite the fact that i cant seem to drop everything and let loose like i always do back in the days, I am Happy!

I am happy for the life that i have,  the husband that i married, the privilege of being Daniels mother. 

" The hand who rocks the cradle is the same hands that rule the world " 

- William Ross Wallace

February Baby

Salam and Greetings.

February is one of the month which i look forward too. Reason so is that 1. its Valentines Day * i do not celebrate them but i just love seeing lot of couple celebrating them * and 2. its my Husbands' birthday.

So on the 5th the both of us went for out third follow up at Columbia Asia Hospital in Puchong.As always Dr. Raja take a peek seeing whether Baby D has turn or not. But then He decided its not time tp turn YET!.. Its okay baby, when the time comes you will turn kan? =)

Nothing much different compared to our last visit. Just this time Dr. Raja just do simple check up monitoring his weight. Everything is okay alhamdulillah.

After that, we rushed back home because we need to send my mom to the bus station and after that we took the train to KL Central to submit  our Insurance claim form.

After settled all that, we planed on doing some walking about the Nu Sentral Mall. Just opened im sure * or is it just me?*.. Its a mall connecting the KL Central and Monorail Station. Then i came across with something which ive been hoping for a long time after seeing it on Youtube channel and Tv. "Bath & Body Work".

Didnt have any intention on spending money there that day so just doing some survey, testing afew samples and surveying the price. Doesnt far of from Victoria Secret,but the price is reasonable for imported goods.

Then since the birthday boy starting to get bored, we rush to Pavilion. Husband received a RM 30.00 birthday gift voucher from A Pink of Salt. Plus we always go to TGIF for our birthday.

Birthday boy ordered himself a Beef Steak BBQ Tacos.

*droll*

His birthday cake. We didnt bought the big size cake because i will be eating the left over by myself.So we just bought the small ones enough for 5 of us . * Teheee*

Tgif classic Cheese Burger. *die*

Complimentary Mushroom Soup for free

The birthday boy. He was so into reading the menu. So i thought! pffttt!

After our lunch, ive decided to do some window shopping. Im already 8 months pregnant so i need to start walking alot. Plus god knows when do we have the time to go out before i deliver Baby D. 

Walked for 15 minutes, start getting tired! Not a  good sign. My feet start hurting and my uterus felt like falling to the floor. =(

Spending 15 minutes in Pavilion is something new to us. I would spend almost all day and night in Pavilion alone. But then have to give in. Husband is tired and Baby D starting to kick often. Tired im sure!

Teknologi.

Semua ni terjadi sesama aku bekerja di sebuah syarikat multinational. Terus terang aku katakan yang bekerja dengan syarikat multinational adalah pilihan aku sejak graduate lagi. Sebab nya ada kelebihan yang sangat menguntungkan. Tapi, disebalik kelebihan itu, kulit kene tebal. Kenapa? Nanti aku akan terangkan.

Aku bekerja dengan syarikan ni sudah lama. Sepanjang aku bekerja disini, tak ada masalah komunikasi antara pekerja lain, pekerja bawahan and juga bosses. Semua berjalan sangat lancar.Aku kenal beberapa orang disini. Kenalan aku dengan pekerja lain bukan setakat diwaktu kerja sahaja malah ketika di luar waktu kerja juga.

Tetapi tak lama selepas itu, aku menghadapi masalah komunikasi yang sangat teruk dengan pekerja lain and pekerja bawahan aku.Semua berpunca pada TEKNOLOGI!

Corak pekerjaan di syarikat multination sangat bergantung pada teknologi. Emails, instant message, Whassap dan Yahoo Messenger adalah antara cara - cara kami semua berkomunikasi antara satu sama lain.

Pada suatu hari , aku ditugaskan untuk menyelia sebuah project untuk diselesaikan dalam jangka masak 2 minggu. Pada mulanya, project tersebut adalah dibawah penyeliaan kawan aku sendiri tetapi disebabkan dia hendak cuti bersalin selama 3 bulan, aku dengan rela hati mengambil alih tugas menyelia project tersebut atas dasar menolong kawan.

Pada 2-3 hari pertama, semua berjalan lancar. Tiada masalah. Semua menjadi kucar kacir apabila aku mengalami masalah dengan telefon aku. Pada saat tu, memang kucar kacir dunia.Jadi selepas kejadian tu, aku bagitahu semua yang terlibat dengan project itu untuk sentiasa update aku secara 'verbally'. 

2 hari kemudian , masalah timbul dan semua berpunca dari masalah komunikasi.

Long story short,

Aku nyaris kehilangan kerja. Hanya kerana berpunca dari Teknologi.

Jadi, sejak kejadian tu, aku dah putus harapan dengan teknologi.