Have you ever experienced people always talk trash, nasty things about you. They tend to hurt your feelings and they will do whatever it talks just to let you down and miserable.The weird part is when you find out they're doing all this thing to you and you told yourself that you wont feeling anything about it, but it turns out you're crying and frustrated about it...
YES.. I did!. Its disgusting to feel this way to the person whom trying constantly taking you down but you dont even know the person.Im a very emotional type of girl regardless ive always have a thick face up front. But sometimes i tend to let myself feel miserable for stupid things.
Ive been back stabbed by my frends, and also cousins and families.. I remember when i just got my first pay cheque, i told myself that i would spend it to take all my families for dinner. But when i do, i was really sincere of doing it and thinking off im the eldest grandchildren in the family and i think its the right thing to do. But then one of my aunties and her children(die ni mmg dr dulu mulut puake) said that im doing it just to show off coz my life turn out exactly what ive always hoped. I didnt take it personally coz i knew she would act that way. But that as the start of all other family dilemma.
My parents was the only one yg boleh dikire successful. My father on the other hand was the eldest son in his family so tanggung jawab die towards adik dia mmg besar. Plus my grandfather is getting old and had alot of medical problems. My father without fail help his parents and also his siblings. But as i get older and wiser, i notice that some of his siblings took advantages for him.Even afew of my cousin pun nak sambung belajar, they go to my dad. But when my father decided to help and they managed loan money from him, they completely vanish... Act like nothing happens. Ive always make sarcastic comment whenever my dad complaint about my spending.
"Duit gaji habis dekat Handbags. shoes, make up... Try to learn to save money.. and Try to learn not to borrow money"...
I was like " wwwhhhhaaattttt"... I laughed my ass of and i told him straight til he was out of words.
" Yes i did spend my OWN money to buy stuff... I used my OWN money to pay my college fees, pay my bills and pay my car.. Since when i borrow money from anyone.Regardless i borrowed money, i wont act like i had shirt term memory lost and just forget about it.. Even how susah skali pun i still pay.. Not like any of ur Nieces and siblings.. have u ever thought of that?"...
My intention saying this to him is not to be rude or anything. Just becoz i want him to realized that i dont have a cushy as what he expected.Yes he always saw me spending afew hundren just on stuff, but didnt he knew is not every month?
I know he has best interest at heart but common la... You know how hard working i am to improved my life. Not like any of his nieces. Belajar 1-2 sem, then drop out.
This also i implies to any of my cousin *especially on my father side*.. Theres afew my cousin who constantly took advantages over my family. When my cousin needed to find a place for internship, my father calls my boss and asked whether my cousin can do her intern there.. and he didnt asked me nor my mom wether we're okay with it or not. While she was doing intern at my company, not even once we heard the word 'THANK YOU' came out from her mouth nor her family. Is not like kite org harap kan sangat, but dont u think its rude? even bapak aku tu pak ngah ko?
Then when my company offered her a job, again she didnt discuss with us whether is it okay for her to take the job. Plus her office is not the same as mine. My office was at the HQ and she as place at our company store which is afew kilometres away. and she was using my car that time. At first i as ok with it but afew months later, i found out she stabbed me from behind and start creating rumors about me among my colleague.
One fine day, she took my fathers personal laptop and bring them to work WITHOUT asking my fathers permission..Then our way back from work she told me she left my dads laptop at the office on her table. I was so mad i told her how could she be so stupid becoz others can simply just take them.
Then afew days later i was totully loosing my patience. As she was driving our car going home, we met an accident. with a freakin container truck. not the small lorry, but a freaking Container Truck...That time i was using a Proton Savvy. The damage as pretty bad. When the truck driver asked her didnt she saw the truck, her answer was simple - 'TAK'. Wanna know why she didnt see the truck, becoz she was texting. She doesnt wanna file for police report coz she just got her license and i told her i wont be involved in this matter coz im not the one who drives the car. I asked her to talked to my parents.
Then afew days later bulan puase i was on long leave after i had my tonsil removal surgery and i told her i need the car by 6 coz i have class to attend. Our office hour ends at 530pm. So ive waited for her for almost 1 freaking hours. When i asked her why, she said traffic jam. Right then i kne she was giving me BS coz i saw afew plastic bags full of food for buka puase. She make a pit stop at pasar malam regardless she knew i had exam and i need to used the car. I was really pist off and i didnt talked to her for afew days. Then all the suddent afew days later, she called the office and letting them know that she quit her job. She didnt even give 1 months notice. She just left.
After that, she came by to the house and told my parents the real story behind the accident. My mom was pist off and she asked me to come home fast and sort the problems. When i came home, she was acting like some big time ganster and being completely rude the my parents. She told my parents that i asked her to lie to them n let them know that i wasnt in the car when it happen. All the suddent, all this anger and frustration which i kept to myself for almost 8 months came out.I was shouting my lungs out, i curse her and let out my points letting her know that hat ever shes doing now is totully bullshit.She told my mom all of my secrets and i was shock. Then before she left, i took afew clothes and throw them outside of my house.As her picked up her clothes, istill remeber all the things said to her;
" Lepas sume bende ko buat kt aku and family aku, aku haramkan sume duit aku yg ko da makan. Maybe ko da bukak aib aku dekat sume org,but jgn lupe rahsie ko aku tetap pegang. Jangan ingat aku akan lepaskan ko."
I was so pist off til i cried.. My mom constantly forcing me to tell my cousin secret but i decided to shut my mouth... Then out of nowhere, my cousins mom call me and asked me to tell everything. Then she said that i was making up stories.Then before i hand up the fon i told her, if shes not satisfied with me, we all can meet and talk about this. I dont give too fucks if she wanna discuss them infront of other family members coz i knew i was on the right side. The weird thing is, my aunties as on her daughters side even all this time she used to call her own daughter bunch of names..* i wont said it here*
Then she decided to call my mom. My mom was being calm and said, my daughter did the right thing and i dont have anything else to say to you.Tak lame lepas tu, my mom call my aunt and she wants to meet her in person and talked about it. But she denies. Giving all kinds of excuse. Stating that she simply wanna threaten me. Whhhaaat ??.. wow.. im scared.....NOT!
Since that back stabbing incident, our family no longer close like before.During raya, we act like nothing happen but my mom and i tried to keep our distance. That was the worst experience i have to face with my own family.
Dispite all this thing happen,im glad that i have my father n my mom. They always back me up and they're not bias. When rhey knew i didn somethings wrong, they would say it to my face. I think if my mom didnt stop me when i confronted her, i think she would be in the hospital. No doubt about it..
It has been 2 years now,and becoz of that incident, i lost faith and trust to anyone..Especially my own cousin. Learning from mistakes.
I guess it normal kot.Bile senang, pandang pun tak nak. But bile time susah, sanggup jilat tapak kaki aku.Well for watever it is, i have my own life to think of and my parents, and my extanded family is what matters to me most.
P/S : People always say "keep your friend close but keep your enemies closer"... But in this case, lets make an exceptional. So, no thanks =)
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