As most of my friends knew, i just had a huge transformation in my life. Before this i wore hijab 'on-and-off'. Mostly i wore just the sake of my parents cant stop nagging about it. But lately since early this year ive decided to wear hijab on my own term's. More like i got my 'calling'.. Ive start analyzing what im gonna wear and also before i left my house for work or outing with Che Mat, i would ask Mak or Abah whether its appropriate or not.. So far my parents was really about the transformation..But then i received afew backlash from people and also from afew of my friends.But thankful enough i have a strong support system from family, Che Mat and also my Best Friends.
" Eh, zara.. da pakai tudung la... Ni permenant ke temporary ?"
" Eh, da pakai tudung da? Bukan last week ko ajak aku g clubbing ke?"
" Klakar la aku tengok ko pakai tudung... Cam mak2 datin gitu.. Bile ko bjalan ngan BF u, i tgk die tu cam anak ikan you"....
Boleh??? These are the few statement that i received from most people.To them maybe all the things they said are just joking but sometimes it does hurt.Che Mat always said just dont ever let those words hurt your feelings.
Honestly wearing hijab own my own good will is alot harder compared to the time i wear hijab just the sake of my parents. Maybe when ive decided to wear them, Allah s.w.t are putting me to the test. Alot of things need to be change as well when ur wearing hijab. You have to control your words, your action and reaction towards any situation.
Alhamdulillah, compared to before ive managed to control myself from cursing and swearing. But im still the same old zara. Im still out spoken about things i see, im still the same old crazy, obnoxious, funny anf out of control. But not all the same. Ive still crack out afew jokes without saying anything salacious.
But the thing that makes me upset is that, when most of my friend sees me wearing hijab, they expect that i would like some ustazah, become an expert and read Al-Quran everyday just overnight. It doesnt work like that. Changes takes time. It does.. At least there's an effort i put to change. Even not in a huge effort to it. I dont want all my hardwork will end up me going back to what it used to be. Honestly speaking, im really scared.
Kak ain, a dear friend of mine. She was my ex colleague from my previous company was one of my biggest supporter. But the way she's supporting is slightly weird i have to say. She always pissed me off by just giving any harsh comment. Mainly in Facebook. Those day when she does that, i will surely get mad and start talking BS to her back. But now, i just chill and talk nicely to her. She was surprise from the way i respond.
"Ko jangan terase hati ngan aku bile aku sakitkan hati ko. Kalo ko boleh control perasaan marah ko, maknenye ko mmg da berubah. Aku sokong ko. Ko xyah peduli ape orang nak cakap pasal ko. Yang penting tuhan tahu niat ko ikhlas nk berubah"
Even she's not my bestfriend but im glad i have her in my life.Nowadays if im stuck into any kind of situation, i rather shut my mouth than start backlashing back to that particular person. To me i think thats the best way to resolve situation. But whenever i do that, they think i was acting immature. Then they said there's no point im wearing hijab if im being immatured... Immatured? It hurts.. really does but then what can i do about it? I just feel like if i said it, it will hurt their feelings. Then i kind off raising my voice by accident. But then they said that there'sno point im wearing a hijab if i acting this way.
I dont understand people. What do they expect when you told them your wearing hijab? They expect us to be able to understand and imply all the things that is stated in Al-Quran overnight? Do they expect that we turn into ustazah. Maybe some people can but some people need alot more time then day expected. Different individual have different ways on making change's.
I always remember a story about our Prophet Muhammad s.a.w when the years his wife Siti Khadijah passed away and he was travelling to the town of Ta'if to spread Islam to the villager. Whenever i hear that story from mak, i get teary eye's. Even now im writing this, i couldnt help to myself. I started crying again. That was my motivation to change. Even the changes im making now is not huge but thanks to Allah that he has finally opened up my heart so that i would be a good muslimah in the future.
Like what my mom always say,
"What matter's most in life is not how you start ,but its how you end them"
" Eh, zara.. da pakai tudung la... Ni permenant ke temporary ?"
" Eh, da pakai tudung da? Bukan last week ko ajak aku g clubbing ke?"
" Klakar la aku tengok ko pakai tudung... Cam mak2 datin gitu.. Bile ko bjalan ngan BF u, i tgk die tu cam anak ikan you"....
Boleh??? These are the few statement that i received from most people.To them maybe all the things they said are just joking but sometimes it does hurt.Che Mat always said just dont ever let those words hurt your feelings.
Honestly wearing hijab own my own good will is alot harder compared to the time i wear hijab just the sake of my parents. Maybe when ive decided to wear them, Allah s.w.t are putting me to the test. Alot of things need to be change as well when ur wearing hijab. You have to control your words, your action and reaction towards any situation.
Alhamdulillah, compared to before ive managed to control myself from cursing and swearing. But im still the same old zara. Im still out spoken about things i see, im still the same old crazy, obnoxious, funny anf out of control. But not all the same. Ive still crack out afew jokes without saying anything salacious.
But the thing that makes me upset is that, when most of my friend sees me wearing hijab, they expect that i would like some ustazah, become an expert and read Al-Quran everyday just overnight. It doesnt work like that. Changes takes time. It does.. At least there's an effort i put to change. Even not in a huge effort to it. I dont want all my hardwork will end up me going back to what it used to be. Honestly speaking, im really scared.
Kak ain, a dear friend of mine. She was my ex colleague from my previous company was one of my biggest supporter. But the way she's supporting is slightly weird i have to say. She always pissed me off by just giving any harsh comment. Mainly in Facebook. Those day when she does that, i will surely get mad and start talking BS to her back. But now, i just chill and talk nicely to her. She was surprise from the way i respond.
"Ko jangan terase hati ngan aku bile aku sakitkan hati ko. Kalo ko boleh control perasaan marah ko, maknenye ko mmg da berubah. Aku sokong ko. Ko xyah peduli ape orang nak cakap pasal ko. Yang penting tuhan tahu niat ko ikhlas nk berubah"
Even she's not my bestfriend but im glad i have her in my life.Nowadays if im stuck into any kind of situation, i rather shut my mouth than start backlashing back to that particular person. To me i think thats the best way to resolve situation. But whenever i do that, they think i was acting immature. Then they said there's no point im wearing hijab if im being immatured... Immatured? It hurts.. really does but then what can i do about it? I just feel like if i said it, it will hurt their feelings. Then i kind off raising my voice by accident. But then they said that there'sno point im wearing a hijab if i acting this way.
I dont understand people. What do they expect when you told them your wearing hijab? They expect us to be able to understand and imply all the things that is stated in Al-Quran overnight? Do they expect that we turn into ustazah. Maybe some people can but some people need alot more time then day expected. Different individual have different ways on making change's.
I always remember a story about our Prophet Muhammad s.a.w when the years his wife Siti Khadijah passed away and he was travelling to the town of Ta'if to spread Islam to the villager. Whenever i hear that story from mak, i get teary eye's. Even now im writing this, i couldnt help to myself. I started crying again. That was my motivation to change. Even the changes im making now is not huge but thanks to Allah that he has finally opened up my heart so that i would be a good muslimah in the future.
Like what my mom always say,
"What matter's most in life is not how you start ,but its how you end them"
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